A friend recently pointed out that my Facebook updates are funnier than my blog updates. This, unfortunately for you and me both, is often true. So I include here some of my 'funny' updates.

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'Our Maddy Hell' say kidnappers tired of reading incorrect guesses in Daily Express.

Hellman's Mayonnaise contains REAL ingredients, but I still prefer that mayonnaise made from purely conceptual ingredients like perfect circles and karma.

Activia Yoghurt now comes in a Handy Little Pot. Yoghurt, in a pot? What a fucking amazing new idea!

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I'll write out my planned little rant tomorrow, for your dismissing pleasure. Pinky promise!