pornstar pop provocateur: Lady Gargle
pornstar Brian Butterworth: Peter ShallIFeelHerTits
pornstar front-man fucker: Pantys Kensit
pornstar linguist: Noam Chompsmeat
pornstar record-breaker: Norris McSquirter
pornstar gravel voice: Queefer Sutherland
pornstar desperate housewife: Titty Snatcher
pornstar screen-legend, pasta purveyor: Paul Screwmen
pornstar pop chameleon: David Blowie
pornstar professional Geordie, racist: Cheryl Hole
pornstar US alt.rock band: Les Slavey Fag
pornstar legal drama creator: Dick Wolf*

* yeah, that's how creative I am

My girlfriend doesn't understand my jokes. She doesn't understand why they're funny.

I think she's more perceptive than she realises.

You ever go to the pet store and see unicorn food?

And you wonder why there's no fucking unicorns?

I learnt to enjoy books early on in life. I went through the whole kama sutra in just a few sittings. Though my mum had to help me with the hard bits.